Sarah Shahi is known for her confidence, intensity, and emotional depth onscreen. However, in her new book, Life Is Lifey: The A to Z’s on Navigating Life’s Messy Middle, the actress shows that her strength was built up by intensely painful experiences long before the fame factor came into the equation.
One of the most traumatic events that the ‘Paradise’ star narrates in the book is her childhood experience with her addict father, who created a permanent scar on her family. The narrative is hard to read, yet Shahi tells it in a clear, compassionate, and undoubtedly growing way.
Sarah Shahi Shares The Story She Carried For Decades In New Memoir
Shahi explains that when she was only six years old, her father, during one of his drug-induced outbursts, took her outside and put a gun to her head. She remembers the physical experience of the event, the cold metal on her temple, the pressure of her father on her, details that she still remembers decades later.
“I remember what happened after, I remember how cold the metal was against my temple. I remember the way he held me, his head hung low, too heavy to lift, as silent tears ran down his face,” she wrote in her memoir.
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She says that his words implied a twisted idea that he was saving her from the world. However, to her, he was the most dangerous. Shahi, in her story, recalls that he was going to kill her and then himself because her mother would not be able to cope with the consequences. “In his twisted mind, my mother would follow, taking her own life in despair.” What is even more haunting about the memory is the description of the state of her father by Shahi.
He was not raging, but broken, weeping. She was not aware of the danger as a child. However, she felt his pain and empathized with him instead of being scared. “As we moved away, I caught one last glimpse of my father, crying on the ground, surrounded by a small puddle that seemed to hold all the heaviness in the world,” she recalled. It was a very delicate situation that might have resulted in a tragedy, but it did not.
Sarah Shahi’s Memoir Explores Trauma, Empathy And The Power Of Survival
Shahi attributes her survival to her mother. She heard her husband sobbing and ran out of the house and realized that the situation was serious. Shahi writes that her mother came up to her with a slow, gentle, and controlled manner. She was able to defuse the situation without making it worse. “Without a word, she wrapped her arm around me and ushered me inside.”
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Her mother then silently took Shahi indoors, sparing her the possible terror that might have been too much. It was only later that the actress came to understand the extent to which she had been put through. When Shahi became older, living with an addicted parent was still uncertain. She explains the emotional swings of loving someone who might be happy one day and heartbreakingly unstable the next.
She writes that those were the years of constant uncertainty, a waiting game where no one was ever sure of their safety. “Life with an addict is like living on the edge of a cliff, you’re always waiting for a shift in the wind,” she wrote. However, Shahi does not position herself as a victim of the experience. Rather, she regards it as a crucible.
The trauma, she says, made her persistent, empathetic, and capable of getting back on her feet regardless of how life knocks her down. ‘Life Is Lifey‘ is not a memoir of suffering, but of survival. The fact that Shahi chooses to tell this story does not seem like a confession. It’s a reminder that strength can be built even out of the most unimaginable situations.
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