The word on the street or more like in the tweets is that TS11 is going to be heart-wrenching. With an intriguing album title like ‘The Tortured Poets Department’, Taylor Swift has already set the tone for what is going to be a deep dictionary dive. After a pop hit like ‘Midnights’ the princess of bops is back to channeling her inner poetess and this time, the stories are not fictional. Unlike ‘Folklore’ and ‘Evermore’ when Swift confessed to venturing into a fictional forest of characters she wrote songs about, the track list of ‘TTPD’ has given away its autobiographical aspect.
We’re not here to talk about who the songs might be about, our task today is who the songs might be for. Tay has written enough songs and made enough albums to fit every personality there is in the world, so to fit all 12 of our zodiac signs we’ve had plenty of creative liberty. Here’s our thought on which ‘TTPD’ track you should claim before its release, based on your zodiac sign.
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1. Aries (March 21 – April 19):
Primary: ‘Down Bad’ – Channeling that fiery energy, this track might ignite the internal flame Aries tries to keep hidden. If you’re ‘Down Bad’ for someone, you’re gonna have the summer of your life either jamming to this track or crying to this track. We’ll find out which one soon enough.
Secondary: ‘So Long, London’ – Now Aries also loves to explore and since we’re guessing ‘London Boy’ was your jam throughout the ‘Lover’ era, you will need this one.
2. Taurus (April 20 – May 20):
Primary: ‘Guilty as Sin?’ – Taurus is a sign that appreciates loyalty, and given the title there seems to be a lack of it in a relationship. So this track might become your go-to for reminiscing a particular betrayal, you’ve been warned.
Secondary: ‘I Can Do It With a Broken Heart’ – Given Taurus’s resilience and confident personality, this track suits them the best. A hype-up anthem that acknowledges the pain and power of this star sign.
3. Gemini (May 21 – June 20):
Primary: ‘My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys’ – With Gemini’s playful nature, this track might ‘call you out on your contrarian shit’. You will either play it in your car for weeks or be confronted for being the player, you’re winning either way.
Secondary: ‘I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)’ – All the ‘Treacherous’ stans can gather, you’re getting another track to your ‘Red Flag’ list which you are going to ignore. Let’s see you screaming about how you can fix him on April 19th.
4. Cancer (June 21 – July 22):
Primary: ‘Loml’ – We’re placing our bets on this track being an emotional, heartwrenching love ballad. With all the Cancerians being the first line of defense when it comes to hopeless romance, we’re giving this track over to you to cry to.
Secondary: ‘The Albatross’ – Known for their intuitive nature, Cancer might resonate with the potential symbolism and depth of this track. We’re guessing if you loved ‘Willow’ you will love Taylor’s lyricism in this one as well.
5. Leo (July 23 – August 22):
Primary: ‘Florida!!! (Florence + the Machine)’ – This track sounds pretty grand and theatrical with all the exclamations, which makes it a perfect pick for Leos. We all know how much they love the spotlight and all things extra.
Secondary: ‘The Bolter’ – With the boldness of this summer star sign, ‘The Bolter’ could resonate with their feelings of breaking free and taking charge. Much like ‘Shake It Off’ you’ll own this one up with Taylor’s grace.
6. Virgo (August 23 – September 22):
Primary: ‘I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)’ – Playing into Virgo’s nurturing side, exploring the desire to mend what’s broken, this title screams their name. All of you out there tending to those you already came in broken, Taylor wrote this for you.
Secondary: ‘The Manuscript’ – Another thing Virgos are known for is their attention to detail. A detailed manuscript will fit in just perfectly in their playlist along with Taylor’s.
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7. Libra (September 23 – October 22):
Primary: ‘Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?’ – Reflecting Libra’s charm and diplomacy, this song could explore the power dynamics in relationships. It is somewhere hitting the spot of Tay’s humorous jab in ‘Blank Space.’
Secondary: ‘Clara Bow’ – Miss Swift is a poetic genius and is known for digging the metaphors that speak volumes on misogyny. This track is very obviously a nod to the silent era actress ‘Clara Bow’ who was a notorious wild child. We’re giving you this as your second song to claim because we know there’s a wild child hidden underneath your cool and calm exterior.
8. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21):
Primary: ‘The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived’ – A mysterious and intense track perfect for Scorpio’s love of depth and emotional ballads. Much like Taylor’s masterpiece ‘Better Man’. Whatever Joe did, he did it bad but lucky for you, you can curse your ex with it.
Secondary: ‘But Daddy I Love Him’ – Even though you’re pretty stoic when it comes to revenge, you love like your life depends on it. Reminds us of a certain lovesick princess who loved her man to the point of eternal silence and then there’s the matter of defying Sea King Daddy of course. All we’re saying is, that this track might transition well into your playlist right after it’s done playing ‘Love Story’.
9. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21):
Primary: ‘Fortnight (feat. Post Malone)’ – A high-energy anthem mirroring Sagittarius’ love for adventure and excitement, similar to the upbeat energy in ‘22’ which Taylor rocked.
Secondary: ‘The Black Dog’ – A controversial track since before release and a pretty close hit for all the Sagittarius burning with the intensity of emotions.
10. Capricorn (December 22 – January 19):
Primary: ‘The Alchemy’ – Noting the Capricorn’s disciplined and creative dominant side, this song might give them soothing certainty. Which kind of ‘The Alchemy’ Taylor is talking about here is yet to be discovered, but it is pretty clear she’s mixing some emotions up.
Secondary: ‘Fresh Out the Slammer’ – One thing Capricorns aren’t afraid of is a challenge, they meet it headfirst. The title of this track gives major ‘bring it on’ vibes so if you’ve been up to anything risky lately, here’s your soundtrack.
11. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18):
Primary: ‘So Long, London’ – We’re giving this well-talked potential Joe slander track to Aquarius for their slow and steady process of falling in love. Unlike Taylor who falls fast and falls deep, you’ve got a little thinking on it to do.
Secondary: ‘The Manuscript’ – A song that will probably explore Taylor’s creativity as an author reminds us of the creative forte all the Aquarius possess. All of you ‘Folklore’ stans are in for a treat with this track.
12. Pisces (February 19 – March 20):
Primary: ‘The Tortured Poets Department’ – For the poets that emotionally intriguing Piseces are, they fit this department perfectly. We feel like Pieces are ‘The Lakes’ stans who appreciate the power of a perfect metaphor.
Secondary: ‘I Can Do It With a Broken Heart’ – With an emotional intelligence and creativity level like that, we one hundred percent believe that Pieces can do it all with a broken heart, just like Taylor can.
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