There’s no doubt that ‘Baby Reindeer‘ is a gripping and intense ride. Written by and starring Richard Gadd, it’s adapted from his award-winning one-man play of the same name.
It’s based on Gadd’s real-life experience of being stalked by a woman, which spirals into a complex web of emotion, self-reflection, and chaos. And while the show takes the viewer on a dramatic journey, it’s the layers of toxic masculinity and complex relationships that really drive the narrative forward.
‘Baby Reindeer’ Puts Toxic Masculinity In The Spotlight
At its core, ‘Baby Reindeer‘ isn’t just about a man being stalked. It’s about the deep-rooted stereotypes and societal expectations of masculinity. The male lead, Donny Dunn, played by Gadd himself, grapples with the toxic expectations thrown at him.
Toxic masculinity runs rampant in ‘Baby Reindeer‘, and it’s not just through the obvious male bravado. The pressure on Donny to fit into a stereotypical mold of masculinity is clear right from the beginning.
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Working in a bar, his friends mock him for being too “nice” to Martha, played by Jessica Gunning, the stalker. They belittle him for his aspirations in comedy, further enforcing the narrative that a man should be tough, unfeeling, and dismissive.
After exiting a heterosexual relationship, Donny dates a trans woman, and this is where the layers of toxic masculinity start to peel back. He struggles to come to terms with not just his relationship with his ex, but also his sexuality.
In society’s eyes, he’s expected to fit into the box of heteronormative masculinity, but here he is, wrestling with new emotions and self-discovery. The show doesn’t offer easy answers — because there are none. It shows us that real life, especially for men trapped in toxic masculinity, is messy and complicated.
Relationships And The Grey Areas In ‘Baby Reindeer’
‘Baby Reindeer‘ doesn’t shy away from depicting the grey areas in relationships either. Donny, while clearly a victim of stalking, is not portrayed as a perfect, innocent man. In fact, the show makes it clear that he’s deeply flawed and conflicted.
He is charmed by Martha’s attention at times, admitting that her laughter at his gigs boosts his ego. “She reached into the darkest pockets of his personality and turned them to light,” Donny reflects. Her gaze offers him a reflection of himself that he prefers over the one he sees in the mirror.
In one moment, Donny’s story shines a light on how toxic masculinity can shape and ruin relationships. The belief that men should be strong, stoic, and emotionless traps Donny in a situation where he doesn’t turn to his family or friends for help.
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Instead, he stays with his ex-girlfriend’s grieving mother, under the condition that he “never bring chaos to her door“. But when he eventually does turn to his own family, the results are far from perfect. It proved once again that relationships are anything but simple.
‘Baby Reindeer‘ highlights the emotional toll of stalking not just through fear, but through the internal conflict it causes. Donny feels flattered by Martha’s attention at times.
“She laughs at my jokes, makes me feel funny,” he admits. It’s this deep dive into human psychology that makes ‘Baby Reindeer‘ so compelling. And its commentary on toxic masculinity is a crucial part of that.
For anyone still grappling with why a sane person would stay connected to someone who causes them harm, this series offers a disturbing but clear answer. Donny clings to Martha’s attention, believing that she sees potential in him.
His life, marked by disappointments and crushed dreams, makes him vulnerable to the twisted sense of validation she provides. It’s uncomfortable to watch, but that’s exactly the point.
‘Baby Reindeer‘ is a limited series, currently streaming on Netflix.
