From the very first episode of ‘Grey’s Anatomy,’ we knew Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd were meant to be together. Sure, they met as strangers in a bar, but the very next day, they ended up working at the same hospital. Meredith was starting her career, and Derek was looking for a fresh start. Both had tricky pasts that they were running from and found solace in each other.
Throughout the series, MerDer’s will-they-or-won’t-they relationship fuelled much drama, but somehow, they made it work. Derek’s death in Season 11 remains one of TV’s most heartbreaking deaths, and his character is still revered. But there’s one particular moment that should be a cautionary tale and a lesson for every person in love. Just because you break up, doesn’t mean your ex can question your choices and act jealous. You have every right to give it back to them, and that’s exactly what Meredith did in the show’s top powerful moments.
The Beginning Of MerDer On ‘Grey’s Anatomy’
‘Grey’s Anatomy‘ isn’t just a medical drama. It showcases the different shades and complexities of love, ambition, and tragedy. There are many couples we’ve rooted for in the show. But, the heart of all that was made up by Meredith and Derek. The was the good-looking attending neurosurgeon at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, which was Seattle Grace Hospital back then. Derek was quickly nicknamed McDreamy by the young band of interns. Seriously, that hair is insane! Among the new interns is Meredith, who is shocked to find out that her one-night stand is her boss.
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While Derek remains flirtatious, Meredith tries to draw the professional line. But we know how that turned out. There was no putting that genie back in the bottle. Their chemistry was not to be denied. The resistance faded and they got together, only for the bomb to drop in Season 1 finale in the form of Derek’s wife, Addison Shepherd, who tells Meredith, “You must be the woman who’s been screwing my husband.”
After the revelation, Derek tries to explain that Addison cheated on him with his best friend, Mark Sloan, and that’s why he ended up in Seattle. Still, Meredith wants to stick with him. But once the divorce approaches, Addison pleads with Derek to give their marriage another chance. And what do you know? Derek, in some weird notion of being a good family man, agrees, leaving Meredith with a broken heart. She manages to be brave, but he makes it difficult. But our Grey isn’t of weak build; she is “the sun,” remember?
The Moment That Turned McDreamy Into McDisgusting
Things seemed to get darker and darker for Meredith. She was dealing with the pressures of her new job, the scrutiny of fellow interns for going out with Derek, and him lying to her about his wife, then stringing her along only to leave her in the end. On the familial front, she was dealing with the mystery of her father and her mother’s Alzheimer’s disease. Yet, Meredith missed Derek but chose to move on.
In a really desperate moment, Meredith ends up sleeping with George. When Derek finds out, he loses his mind from jealousy. He chastises her for her choices in men and suggests she should sleep with Alex as he “gets around a lot too.” This is where Meredith, instead of crumbling due to shame or the weight of her feelings, shuts him up with a hard-hitting speech.
She tells him with conviction, ”When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys, and all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared? Because I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I’m all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don’t get to call me a wh*re.”
Remember, this is the same girl who made the “Pick me, choose me, love me” speech when Derek was contemplating returning to Addison. She was past the stage of love “in a really, really big, pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you.”
Why Meredith’s Speech Resonates In Real Life
We know Meredith was far from perfect. She made terrible decisions that put her and others in jeopardy. She seldom knew what she wanted and gave in to emotions. But that justify Derek’s demeaning words, or his sister Nancy labelling her the “slutty intern.” The hypocrisy was bursting at the seams. As for Mark’s conduct, she only had to say that “everyone had sex with him.”
As for Derek, he should have understood Meredith or kept his mouth shut. But no, he was judgmental, despite making problematic choices himself. He admits he never paid Addison attention while they were married, but the moment she chose a man who did, Derek acted like a blameless victim. Then, he wasn’t upfront with Meredith and made her feel pathetic for trying to heal.
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Unfortunately, in a lot of relationships, women are slut-shamed by their own partners. Be it over their clothes, flamboyant nature, drinking socially, their circle of friends or just being themselves. This doesn’t mean love doesn’t exist; it’s just the mindset of being hostile when you lose control. Derek’s arrogance mirrors reality. The entitlement many men feel for policing women. This is not to say they are bad, but once the typical male ego kicks in, McDreamys of the world can turn into McNightmares.
What Happened To Meredith And Derek On ‘Grey’s Anatomy’?
Sure, Meredith and Derek found their way back to one another. Derek can’t take it that she is dating their vet, Finn, and hooks up with her in the exam room during the Prom night at the hospital. He yells at her for making it impossible for him to love his wife. Aww… Poor Derek! Can’t take responsibility for his actions. Isn’t it a male way of making the woman feel special and horrible at the same time? But the forgiveness comes on ‘Grey’s Anatomy,’ as it does so many times in real life.
In case you missed it: ‘Grey’s Anatomy’: Why Main Characters Left The Show
MerDer went through more issues, not just in the Post-it marriage and three kids, but a shooting, plane crash, messed-up clinical trial, health crises, and more. They shared a great romance, seeming like TV’s favorite couple. Their fights had steamy resolutions, but life and work got in the way, and ultimately, death took away Derek.
Meredith’s journey was probably reflected most in her exit speech in the Season 19 finale. Once she decides to leave the place where she grew up, played, worked, found the love of her life, made amazing friends, raised her kids, and found immense success, she also leaves her present partner, Nick. She tells him, “I want you in my life if you want to be in my life. But if I have to choose, I’m going to pick me, I pick my kids, and I pick what’s best for us, and I’m not going to beg you to love me.” With this, Meredith sets out to start a new chapter of her life in Boston, where she intends to live near her daughter and continue Alzheimer’s research. It’s a full circle moment from the time she begged Derek to love her.
But Derek’s audacity to slut-shame Meredith remains a big blot on his character’s memory.
