There is no doubt that the ‘Harry Potter’ franchise is a cultural phenomenon. Yet over time, we’ve started noticing the cracks in its narratives and the problematic elements that took us years to understand fully.
One of them is the franchise’s approach to romance. Some argue there is very little romance in ‘Harry Potter’, while others think there is actually too much. But one thing is clear: the romance we do get is built on a very toxic foundation. And while there are even more problematic elements in the books, strictly speaking about the movies, there is already plenty to unpack.
Harry And Ron Are Incredibly Toxic To The Girls They Like
Harry and Ron are, in many ways, the blueprint for the so-called “nice guys”. Especially when it comes to how they behave around the girls they like. Before the Yule Ball, Ron and Harry spend most of their time whining about not having dates instead of actually asking out the girls they like. Eventually, they turn to the Patil sisters as a “last resort”, only to continue whining around at the party. They behave as though the girls they are interested in are always responsible for their own inability to communicate.
Ron, in particular, has a habit of projecting his anger and insecurities onto the girls around him. The entire storyline with him and Lavender Brown is deeply problematic, and honestly, unnecessary. It makes sense that Ron’s insecurities would lead him to date the first girl who showed him genuine attention, but the relationship didn’t need to become such a spectacle.
Lavender’s overly girly and lovey-dovey personality is repeatedly framed as cringey and laughable, and there is something so distinctly misogynistic about it. Lavender wasn’t the best, but she didn’t deserve that treatment.
Harry’s relationship with Cho Chang is even more mortifying and tragic than it first appears. She is clearly grieving Cedric, who passed away in a very traumatic incident. Yet, Harry tries to court her amidst all of this. During their first kiss, Cho quite literally cries. Then things get even worse when Harry discovers that Cho was the person who exposed the Room of Requirement. He completely shuns her, though it is later revealed that she was compelled to reveal the information by Umbridge.
Harry And Ginny Were Just Uncomfortable To Watch
If Harry and Ginny’s relationship had anything, it was the opposite of chemistry.
A major reason their relationship fails so badly on screen is that the movies completely dilutes Ginny’s character. The fiery confidence, humour and sass we see in the book is nowhere to be found in the movies. She just has no personality in the films.
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And then, out of nowhere, Ginny and Harry are in love. We barely see them having any meaningful conversations, getting to know each other or developing an emotional connection before the story expects us to believe that Harry has fallen for her.
We didn’t need any grand romantic storyline. But just enough of convincing to make us care about this relationship. Even outside the changes made to Ginny’s character, the romance itself was written poorly. Harry probably had more chemistry with his glasses than he did with Ginny.
Ron And Hermione Don’t Deserve Each Other
Ron and Hermione are perhaps the most polarising couple in the franchise. But it is also the most controversial and toxic one. The foundation of their relationship is built largely on Ron’s constant jealousy and immature outbursts, while Hermione simply puts up with it. She deserved a lot better.
Ron rarely takes any meaningful action and behaves like a complete manchild. Yet, Hermione is expected to grow into the person who can somehow make the relationship work. Excusing Ron’s behaviour simply because he is a young boy is deeply problematic when the narrative repeatedly expects Hermione to be the mature one.
That creates some very uncomfortable gender dynamics. Hermione’s maturity is treated as a given. She is the responsible one, the emotionally aware one, and has to somehow “fix” Ron’s immaturity.
At the end, we see Ron and Hermione as adults with children, apparently living happily ever after. There is something so deeply unsettling about that scene, knowing what we know about their relationship. It somehow feels like Hermione has just settled into the role of fixing the boy who spent so much of the story disrespecting her and making her cry.
The Undertones Of Romance In ‘Harry Potter’ Are Deeply Unsettling
Perhaps the biggest problem with the romance in ‘Harry Potter’ is not even the individual pairings. It is the many things the franchise is willing to normalise in the name of romance.
It is essentially glorifying so many problematic men, including James Potter, Draco Malfoy and even Severus Snape. The question of why Lily Potter even married James is something that some of us are still trying to find the answer to.
There is also the very obvious problem of the movies rushing every romantic relationship. Characters go from barely interacting to suddenly being in love. Even in romances that could have had potential, like Remus and Tonks and Bill and Fleur, we never see any substantial developement.
Part of this can obviously be blamed on the enormous number of omissions the movies had to make when adapting the book. But it isn’t an excuse since, at this point, the romance in ‘Harry Potter’ movies only seems like a checkpoint that needed to be crossed off. Since it was in the books, it needed to be included in the movies.
Of course, the books themselves are not necessarily free from these problems. In many cases, they were even more problematic. There are themes of friendship, loss, coming of age and more that remain relevant today. But the foundation of romance was never healthy. These are stories written for young audiences, for children and teenagers who are still learning what love, relationships and boundaries are supposed to look like. When the narrative repeatedly presents them with these unhealthy behaviours as romantic, it just doesn’t sit right.
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