At first glance, the iconic ‘Modern Family’ siblings, Alex and Hailey Dunphy, seem like they were written to be complete opposites. Hailey is the outgoing, fashion-obsessed extrovert, whereas Alex is the academically driven, overachiever.
They constantly bicker, compete for their parents’ approval, and represent two completely different versions of what a young woman on television can be. But beneath all that remains one of the most emotionally intelligent sisterly bonds ever written on TV.
Alex And Hailey’s Rivalry Has A Much Darker Reality
Alex and Hailey’s rivalry is far more complex than it initially appears. The easiest way to understand it is through the archetype they seem to embody. Hailey is the pretty, popular girl who appears to care mostly about boys, clothes and makeup. On the other hand, Alex is the stereotypical nerd, who is extremely smart but socially awkward.
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On paper, they could have easily become shallow caricatures of these archetypes. But something saves them from being so one-dimensional.
The sisters seem to abhor what each other stands for, but their rivalry is not as simple as just two very different people who cannot stand each other. Both are painfully aware of what the other seems to have that they lack. Alex envies the effortless attention Hailey receives, while Hailey resents just how naturally Alex succeeds at things she struggles with.
Even their family reinforces these differences, turning their contrasts into competition. Much of Alex and Hailey’s hostility comes from a surprisingly understandable place: comparison. They completely understand the boxes they have been placed into.
That creates a very realistic kind of jealousy. They look at each other and see the life they think would make them happier.
Their Sisterhood Challenges The Boxes They Are Placed Into
It is as they grow older that Alex and Hailey realise that they do not have to choose between being different and being supportive. Their bond proves that being different is completely okay. In fact, it is only when you have someone so polar opposite near you that you can grow to be a better person.
This becomes especially important when either sister is struggling. Hailey can recognise the emotional problems that Alex is too analytical to see, while Alex can offer Hailey a grounded perspective when her emotions or impulsiveness gets the better of her. What initially makes them incompatible eventually becomes the reason they can help each other.
This bond between Alex and Hailey naturally challenges the female binaries that popular media so often relies upon. Female characters are so easily divided into categories: pretty or smart, popular or awkward, emotional or rational, feminine or ambitious.
Alex and Hailey are initially designed to fit neatly into these categories, until their sisterhood proves how artificial these divisions are.
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Hailey And Alex’s Differences Make Them More Human
It is their differences and their bond that ultimately saves them from being one-dimensional caricatures. Hailey can be intelligent, perceptive and capable without losing the qualities that make her outgoing and traditionally feminine. Alex can be ambitious and intellectually gifted while still being vulnerable, insecure and deeply emotional.
Alex and Hailey learn to love each other because they are different. And they do continue to annoy the hell out of each other. But as they mature, they become better at recognising each other’s emotional language.
Neither sister has to become more like the other to become a better person. Instead, they learn to appreciate what the other perspective can offer. Their relationship evolves from simply being sisters who happen to share a house into two women who genuinely understand how to show up for one another.
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