At least once, every ‘Gilmore Girls‘ fan has longed to have a mother-daughter relationship like Lorelai and Rory. Watching movie marathons, and eating food high in carbs and trans-fats yet fitting into skinny jeans, Lorelai is anything but a traditional parent, unlike her mother — Emily. In some way, Lorelai was constantly trying to escape becoming her mother even while parenting Rory.
While this approach has made Lorelai and Rory the best of friends there are times when she would not receive the Mother of the Year award. Lorelai is a risk-taker and unconventional. However, this does not always provide Rory with the old-fashioned parenting guidance that every child needs. Oftentimes, Rory has to clean up after her mother’s messes, which makes us wonder about her pre-mature habit of being responsible. Here five times Lorelai was the best and worst mother.
1. Supporting Rory To Go To Yale University
Since the series began in 2000, the Gilmore girls dreamt of seeing Rory go to Harvard University. Rory had attended every Harvard workshop and each year collected its college brochure. In season two episode four, the mother-daughter went on a beautiful tour of the college when Lorelai ran away from her wedding. However, the land seemed to slip beneath Rory’s feet as she reconsidered going to Yale instead.
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Being a true list maker, Rory jotted down the pros and cons of the Ivy Leagues and found that Yale offered her a better opportunity. However, she feared disappointing her mother by not going to Harvard. However, Lorelai came through for Rory in the episode ‘Tale of Poes and Fire’ when she redecorated Rory’s room with Yale Merchandise.
2. Comforting Rory On Her First Break-Up
Lorelai’s major parenting relationship is being a gal-pal to Rory. The mother-daughter duo shop for eclectic clothes, pajamas with “JUICY” printed on the rear end for instance. Their fast-spoken pop-culture references are a classic. And above all, they have each other’s back during bad breakups. Dean was Rory’s first boyfriend. Therefore, there were many firsts for Star’s Hollow Princess including a breakup.
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Dean and Rory broke up on their three-month anniversary when she could not say “I love you” back to Dean. Initially, Rory did not even know how to react. She deflected to making lists and doing laundry. Lorelai gave the ultimate breakup advice to her daughter, “get back in your pajamas, go to bed, and eat nothing but gallons of ice cream and tons of pizza”. Although Rory denied it at first, it was Lorelai’s wallowing method that helped Rory.
3. Driving To Boston When Rory Freaked Out Over Sherry’s Delivery
It was big of Lorelai to put aside her grievances and go the hospital to be beside Rory when Sherry went into labour. Christopher had promised to start over with Lorelai and Rory but left them estranged when he heard Sherry, his ex-girlfriend was pregnant. Lorelai was heartbroken. But she did not let her feelings get in Rory’s way to be a part of her half-sister.
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When Sherry went into early labor, Rory arrived at the hospital. But to her surprise not even Christopher (her father) was present. She ran around in the halls helping Sherry but drew the line when she asked Rory to accompany her to the delivery room. Lorelai drove to Boston to support Rory and Sherry till Christopher showed up.
4. The Lorelais’ First Night At Yale
Lorelai never hangs up on her distressed daughter. She helped Rory gather all the items in her gigantic list for Yale when Rory mismarked the date. The mother-daughter felt intimidated by the carton boxes of the students while they shifted Rory’s things into garbage bags. Even Luke took the old Yale mattress in and out of the university two times.
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Finally, Lorelai bid the inevitable goodbye to her daughter as she went to attend the orientation tour. However, it was not meant to be as she received another distress call from Rory. Lorelai decided to stay a night in her dorm making it another fun Gilmore experience. She ordered take-out from different restaurants to assess the best food place around. Lastly, both Lorelai’s howled their way with the entire Yale dormitory.
5. Setting Boundaries With Rory
Many ‘Gilmore Girls’ fans find Lorelai unfair to pull the parent card when she wishes. However, parenting is not about being just. Therefore, it was fair of Lorelai to give Rory an ultimatum that she would have to move out if she wanted to drop out of Yale. Mitchum Huntzberger told Rory she does not have the capabilities to make it as a journalist. Being crushed by her mentor, Rory steals a yacht with Logan and gets arrested.
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Rory is lost despite her mother’s efforts. Therefore, when Rory decides to drop out, Lorelai takes a step back to let Rory figure out her way either back into college or any other path she chooses. It breaks Lorelai to see Rory move into her Richard and Emily’s house but she remains adamant in her decision.
But she wasn’t perfect. There were times when Lorelai was a terrible mother to Rory. Here are the top five such instances from the show.
1. Dating Rory’s Teacher
It seemed strange that Lorelai refused to date a Chilton dad but was fine with dating Rory’s teacher. This was the first specimen of Lorelai letting her emotions run the show leaving behind a mess for Rory. Lorelai went on a beautiful date with Max Medina, Rory’s English teacher when Stars Hollow was covered with snow. If she had accessed the situation she would have realized that dating Max would (and did) put Rory into a trick situation at school.
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Rory was already facing a hard time making friends at Chilton. Moreover, kissing Max on school premises was poor behavior that came with its consequences. Paris saw Max and Lorelai and broadcasted it all around, making Rory the social pariah.
2. Being Too Involved In Rory’s Relationships
Lorelai prizes that she has a friendly relationship with Rory before being a mother-daughter. However, Lorelai like a overstepping teenager butts into Rory’s relationship too much. It is understandable for Lorelai to be overly protective of her daughter. But was it necessary to threaten Dean when he started dating Rory? Lorelai does not accept the fact that every aspect of Rory’s life would not be discussed with her.
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Lorelai becomes very uncomfortable when Rory decides to casually date like a normal college student. She calls her a “relationship girl”. She becomes more uneasy when she begins dating Logan and does not tell her details of her relationship.
3. Marrying Christopher Without Telling Rory
Fans would agree with Stars Hollow’s disappointment when Lorelai marries Christopher instead of Luke. But none could measure Rory’s when she heard that her mother decided to get married without even giving her notice. Although both Lorelai and Rory realize that Rory would have stopped the wedding by rationally making her parents reason, it was inconsiderate of Lorelai not to include her best friend.
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Rory proved in season one that she is also capable of spontaneous adventure when she ran away with her mother from Lorelai’s wedding to Max. Lorelai dropped a massive bomb on Rory when she told her juvenile parent got married in Paris. Telling Richard and Emily was another glorious disaster.
4. Lorelai Did Not Like Rory’s Close Relationship With Richard And Emily
Although Rory and Lorelai are similar, it was unfair to assume that Rory would house the same hatred for Richard and Emily’s rich lifestyle as she did. Lorelai became uneasy when she thought if Rory would like to go to the club with Richard. When her fears are proven right she out of the blue lashes out on Rory. Lorelai’s paranoid ego cannot also bear her parents providing for Rory.
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Understandably, Lorelai is independent and self-made but it does not change Richard and Emily wanting to do something nice for their only granddaughter. Lorelai again becomes frustrated when Rory moves into her grandparents’ house. She even accuses them of getting a new improved version of Lorelai. It was very inappropriate when Ricard and Emily were only trying to help.
5. Disgusting Eating Habits
Although the show romanticizes Lorelai’s eating habits, a parent should never take a page from this chapter in Lorelai’s life. Lorelai’s love for sugary or fried snacks stems from her desire to break free from her parent’s lifestyle. However, we will never know how Rory grew up to her height, health, and beauty after surviving off pizza and coffee. This was a very unrealistic depiction of eating habits.
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Viewers will agree with Emily when she says Rory doesn’t get a properly balanced diet at Lorelai’s home. Moreover, with their capacity to stomach carbs and trans-fat it remains a mystery how they do not suffer from any artery blockage with an aversion to exercise.
