A peaceful, thriving household with two kids and a happy couple is exactly how one would define a perfect American marriage. It sounds all rose-tinted, but as they say, all that glitters is not gold. This is especially the case with modern marriages, and this Danny DeVito movie brilliantly captured the collapse of relationships.
The 1989 film ‘The War of the Roses‘ is an exceptional and impeccable masterpiece. It is a commentary on two unhinged individuals who start off a passionate affair, which culminates in a marriage. Their bond slowly fizzles out as the story progresses, but it is attributed to two causes: undefined priorities and materialism. This, in turn, leads to the gradual wreck of romance in their lives, and this is how the movie navigates it!
A Marriage Built On Materialism And Undefined Priorities
Madonna wasn’t fibbing when she said that we’re living in a material world. The movie starts on this note, where we see Oliver and Barbara bidding on the same antique at the auction.
It’s a common thread between the two where their mutual love for the finer things in life ultimately strains their dynamic. They fall in love and get married, but their very relationship is built on the cornerstone of materialism.
The pair never really had “the talk” before their marriage; rather, it was a slapdash move. Both characters repress their true feelings to fit in. “I’ll learn” is what Barbara says initially, but it ends horribly. The lack of communication thus fuelled this very idea of their undefined priorities.
Throughout the movie, they suppress their real selves to fit into the mold that society wants them to conform to. They act as the ideal spouses, that is, until they cannot.
While Oliver becomes a raging workaholic, Barbara sheds her independent self to raise her kids. It is only later that she realized that she had settled for less. Oliver’s hijacking of Barbara’s conversations, demeaning her guests, and even urinating on the food led to the revenge game.
It wasn’t long before Barbara responded to the cruelty in her own manner, trapping Oliver in the sauna and claiming to make pate out of their dog, Benny.
This was a ploy, especially after Oliver accidentally killed her precious cat. The only twist here was that Barbara’s cruelty did not match up to Oliver’s entitlement, which can be seen in the gradual wrecking of their romance.
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The Gradual Wreck Of Romance In The War of Roses
Romance isn’t all rose-tinted in this movie, but a cruel reminder of an unhappy marriage. Although Oliver and Barbara start as lovers, they end up as strangers even as they lie dying.
A series of misunderstandings, controlling behavior, and fights destroyed their marriage, which was already built on lies and deception, but it had a splinter of hope.
It is evident in Oliver’s POV where he tries to salvage the relationship, but all his efforts go in vain. The reluctance itself shows that he holds on to the bond while Barbara has long since moved on.
It’s yet another expectation people have from a classic and typical marriage: that it is meant for the long haul. This is the case with the pair as they fight it out as adults. They built a ‘perfect house’ only for it to be destroyed by their quarrels and their hedonistic tendencies.
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A failed marriage is something that greatly influences the dysfunctional parents’ kids. It also thoroughly reshapes their idea of intimacy. Oliver’s and Barbara’s dynamic proves that they were ill-fitted for marriage, let alone for parenthood.
They harbor nothing but animosity and reach a point of no return. As the said adults choose to wreck each other and their children’s lives, one thing is certain.
The innumerable aesthetic antiques couldn’t sustain their marriage, let alone bring peace to their home. While Oliver’s absence tethered the bond, Barbara’s stubbornness added salt to the burn.
The entire saying that marriage is built on compromise is also something both individuals refute. Neither of them reaches a common ground. While Oliver’s incident with Barbara’s cat was accidental, it resulted in her being willing to pull him into a life-threatening situation.
As a result, the pair is left hanging on to their fate, on top of the chandelier. Quite literally, in a last attempt, Oliver tries to make amends. He did so before, with that note, and it is evident in his reluctance to divorce her.
The result is that both succumb to their fate, and even in the last attempt, Barbara rejects him. For her, the loss of her cat, lovelessness, was the point where it all ended. The movie, all in all, dismantled notions and perceptions of an ideal and stylized marriage.
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