‘Friends’ reigned over television for a decade and still remains one of the ultimate comfort shows, with an entire culture built around it. Yet, apart from the nostalgic aesthetic, we can all admit that the sitcom hasn’t aged very well.
In fact, the show has been called out for being problematic many times. Here are 7 things we just can’t ignore when we rewatch ‘Friends’.
7. The Extremely Fragile Masculinity
‘Friends’ has repeatedly turned fragile masculinity into a running joke, and some moments are too difficult to defend. The entire nanny storyline is a prime example, where Ross just can’t accept the fact that a straight man can work as a nanny and continues to ask invasive questions about the person’s sexuality.
The show has repeatedly shown us that whenever a male character does anything like knitting or carrying a purse, they have to do something “masculine” to feel like themselves again. Then there is an entire episode dedicated to Ross refusing to let his son play with a doll.
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6. Fat Monica
The entire “fat Monica” storyline is one of the most uncomfortable running gags in ‘Friends’. Her weight is constantly used as a way to demean her, even showing that she only became worthy when she lost weight.
This just becomes even more frustrating when we see her parents constantly comparing her to Ross, and treating them so differently. Even after she loses weight, the jokes turn to Monica being a controlling, Type-A psycho.
5. The Rampant Homophobia and Transphobia
The show repeatedly uses homophobic and transphobic humour, with Chandler’s transgender parent being completely reduced to a punchline. Even Chandler’s sexuality was constantly questioned simply because he is not considered “manly” enough.
Carol and Susan’s relationship was another way the show kept using representation as a means for spectacle and a long joke, reinforcing harmful stereotypes along the way. We can’t even count the number of times the term “lesbian life partner” somehow became a cue for the laugh track.
4. Sexism Is A Punchline
Friends constantly used sexist comments as a punchline. The group itself has never failed to treat women like objects. Joey’s sexism in particular is rarely challenged. He is just a clueless womanizer, and that’s how it should stay.
Moreover, Ross goes straight to Chandler to confront him over his relationship with Monica, never considering her a consenting adult capable of making her own choices. Then there are the countless jokes about the guys wanting to see the women kiss, repeatedly reducing them to a male fantasy.
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3. Everything About Ross
The internet was right when they said if we remove the laugh track, every scene with Ross is completely psychotic. Ross’s obsessive possessiveness with Rachel, when she is simply trying to work, is somehow supposed to be romantic.
The entire “we were on a break” argument was simply the worst. His constant cheating, crossing boundaries, having a relationship with a student, hitting on his cousin, and more is simply never even acknowledged.
2. The Horrible Behavior
One of ‘Friends’ biggest problems is how the universe seems to revolve entirely around the six main characters. They are constantly mocking the people they date, ending relationships over ridiculous reasons, and not to mention the cheating.
Characters like Emily, Julie, and Bonnie really deserved better. Somehow, the show always found a way to glorify the group’s toxic traits. Anyone who falls outside this white, straight, conventionally attractive circle is nothing but a joke.
1. Problematic Never Equals Comedy
‘Friends’ has repeatedly treated problematic behavior as comedy, without ever considering who or what is being demeaned in the process. Monica wearing cornrows and braids became a comedy plotline in itself, with Chandler even being so disgusted he couldn’t even kiss her.
Monica’s relationship with Richard also felt deeply uncomfortable, which just felt doubly wrong when she started crushing on his son. Then there is the show making fun of Eddie’s mental health and the entire Fun Bobby storyline.
We can never stop listing the many problematic storylines of ‘Friends’ because the show never failed to top itself by bringing more problematic stuff just as a comedic storyline. But it is clear that comedy never works by punching down, disrespecting, or demeaning someone. The heartwarming premise we seek when we watch ‘Friends’ as a comfort show just never works when we think about these things.
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