Hannah Murray is shedding light on the disturbing experience that pushed her into a psychotic breakdown after she became involved with a wellness cult in 2017. The former ‘Game of Thrones‘ actress admitted she once believed she was too smart to fall into something so dangerous.
But things spiraled so badly that she eventually landed in a psychiatric unit. Now, while promoting her upcoming memoir, Murray is reflecting on the “terrible choices” she made and the emotional vulnerability that pulled her deeper into the group.
The ‘Game Of Thrones’ Actress Never Thought Something Like This Could Happen To Her
While speaking to the Guardian in an interview published on Saturday, Murray explained that she once assumed she was safe from manipulative groups and harmful situations. The actress said she never imagined the events detailed in her memoir would become part of her life story.
“I had no idea [she] was going to go through any of the things in the book,” Murray admitted while discussing ‘The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness‘. She also reflected on how strongly she believed her background would protect her from making destructive decisions.
“I would’ve assumed I couldn’t, that I was safe. I was well educated, from a middle-class family; everything should have been fine,” she shared. Still, Murray acknowledged that intelligence alone does not stop people from getting pulled into unhealthy environments. “I thought, ‘I’m smart. I make good choices.’ Well, I made terrible choices. But it’s important to understand why people do these things, rather than going, ‘Oh, they must be idiots.’ Or, ‘How stupid could you be?’” she added.
Murray revealed that her connection to the alleged cult began after she met an “energy healer” through her personal trainer while she was working on the set of ‘Detroit‘. What initially appeared to be a spiritual and healing-focused space slowly became something far more emotionally consuming.
As she described the atmosphere inside the group, Murray explained how charged and unsettling the experience became. “My own experience felt highly eroticized, without anything explicitly physical happening. There was just this charge to the energy in the room. I think there often is in these hierarchical spiritual organizations,” she recalled.
The Wellness Group Quickly Became Emotionally Intense
The actress also spoke about the impact the male leader had on the room when he appeared. “I found it interesting that it was a primarily quite female space — the teachers, the healer — and then this man walks in, and he’s incredibly confident and magnetic,” Murray said, though she chose not to publicly identify the cult or its leader.
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She remembered how abruptly the atmosphere changed after his arrival. “The first thing he says is a joke about s*x. From this quite floaty, quite gentle, wishy-washy energy, it was suddenly, like, ‘Hey, I’m here,’ and, ‘Let’s f—.’ I think he was doing that deliberately.”
According to Murray, she spent thousands of dollars chasing what she believed would bring her “wisdom and specialness.” Instead, the experience spiraled into a psychotic episode. Ultimately, she ended up in a psychiatric unit. Doctors later diagnosed her with bipolar disorder.
The actress admitted the ordeal completely changed her relationship with wellness culture. She now avoids practices connected to that world because they still trigger discomfort and painful memories. “Even the tame stuff can feel quite distressing. I don’t meditate anymore. I wouldn’t go into a crystal shop or do yoga, because I don’t quite know what might come up that might feel a bit too woo-woo for my personal threshold,” she told the Guardian.
Murray also pointed out how deeply wellness advice has become embedded in everyday life. “But I realize now how pervasive it is. How often people you don’t know will offer it as a remedy. You’ll say, ‘I’m not really sleeping,’ and they’ll say, ‘Have you tried meditation?’ It’s everywhere, seen as an inherently positive solution,” she shared.
At the same time, she admitted she understands why people searching for answers can become emotionally dependent on those promises. “And there are harmless or positive versions. But as someone looking for something to fix me entirely, a magic wand or silver bullet, the promise felt seductive and addictive.”
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