From Abercrombie ads to TV stardom to rehab and then Hollywood dreams – the path has been pretty unstable for the “Teen Wolf” star Colton Haynes.
After an overdose and suicide attempt, recovering from alcoholism, addiction, and an eating disorder, and then overcoming childhood sexual abuse, the 33-year-old has chosen to speak about his truth.
” I know today I’m only as sick as my secrets, I needed to rid myself of the things I’ve held onto for so long,” he said.
Haynes shared “I no longer want to project a curated life” and opened up about how he “struggled the past year with trying to find my voice and where I fit in and that has been the most beautiful struggle I’ve ever had to go through. Worrying about what time to post on social media so I can maximize my likes or being mad at myself that I don’t look the same way I did when I was addicted to pills is a complete waste of why I was put on this earth.”
Colton Haynes On His Journey
Growing up “delusion” was his first drug. The actor had dreams of becoming a male Kate Moss.
“Once I knew something was going to get me the attention that I wanted, nothing was holding me back from using my body, or doing whatever I could to help me get that love I needed,” he said.
In high school, he attended classes during the day and danced as a go-go boy at a gay bar at night. Colton tried to sign with modeling agencies and appeared in four Abercrombie and Fitch catalogs. To sign with the agency he pretended to be taller.
The actor revealed, “I duct-taped underwear into little rolls and stuffed them into boots too big for me. I just wanted to be what everyone else wanted me to be.”
Colton Haynes started taking acting classes and soon hit a roadblock. “I was told, ‘Gosh. His looks, you know, he looks like a star, but his mannerisms and the way he sounds, too gay. I put a Post-It under my tongue.” He went to a movement class “to straighten up my mannerisms”. His efforts brought results as he got a role in MTV’s “Teen Wolf”.
Although his career boomed, his managers did not let him come out publicly because of which he developed an addiction to Adderall and Xanax. In 2016, when Haynes decided to come out, he observed that his acting roles and endorsements became limited. “I am offered only roles like the ‘gay best friend’ today.” In 2018, Calton Haynes overdosed on a bottle of Oxycontin, a bottle of Xanax, and a bottle of tequila. The next morning he woke up in a hospital.
“I had tubes coming out of every hole in my body,” he recalled. “I couldn’t see out of my left eye.”
The Life Ahead
Haynes is now sober. He has a new perspective, a memoir, and a part in the “Teen Wolf” reboot movie as he returns to Hollywood and steps back into public life. He said some things haven’t improved: “Name one lead out leading actor, a male romantic lead who’s openly gay? I don’t think Hollywood has changed.”
One thing hasn’t changed about Haynes either — he showed the lifts in the shoes he’s wearing and said, “Today I’m six-foot-two.”
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